Unless aliens are in hot pursuit there is generally no reason for immediate concern. Discovering an implant categorically proves that you have been abducted by aliens at some time in your life and could again be taken at any time. Most people with alien implants have had them unknowingly for decades without any ill effect. Physiologically they are no more dangerous than having a splinter. They should, however, be located and removed as soon as possible.

Signals from alien implants are incapable of penetrating through more than a few metres of soil. This makes subways, disused mines, sewers and any other such subterranean tunnel ideal for short term or long term shelter. The shielding effect of soil has been known for many years and been used to great effect by a large number of people seeking immediate respite from alien harassment. The real threat of any subterranean environment comes not from pursuing aliens but from the environment itself. Venturing into disused mines and cave systems should only be attempted by those with suitable experience and equipment.

Examine your body for any unexplained scars. Entry wounds are usually very small and discreet, or not visible at all. Implants are generally no larger than a grain of rice, come in shapes ranging from triangular to spherical and can be located anywhere in the body.

Gauss meters are hand held devices used for measuring the intensity magnetic fields. When used to scan your body it will indicate any electromagnetic disruptions, thereby locating areas for closer examination. Stud finders have also been used on a number of occasions to locate superficial implants. Both meters are available from good hardware stores.

Book yourself in for a full body X-ray at the first opportunity. Some implants are located deep within the body and cannot be found by a superficial examination.

Many implants are discovered by accident when radiologists have been X-raying for unrelated reasons. Most hosts are unaware that they have an implant.

Implants require surgical removal with either a local or general anaesthetic. Surgical procedures should only be carried out by trained professionals.

When removed, the object may be covered with a sticky, grey, fibrous membrane. Do not remove this membrane. Have your surgeon place the implant in a sterile container and send it off for chemical analysis. You should find the results very interesting, that is, if government agencies ever allow you to see them.